Jamalyn (jamalyn) wrote,

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Read: Forbidden Colors

I have learnt to dread the phrase, “I’ve met someone I really think you will really enjoy.”

Alas, this can only mean one of two things:

(First)—That this person is, indeed, someone I will really enjoy, or

(Second)—That this person will annoy me beyond all reasoning and the person offering the introduction is, in all honestly, hoping for only their own entertainment.

Sadly, it is the second motive that tends to rule the day (thus my ever growing, nigh overwhelming fear).

To point:

At a recent assembly of my so-called friends, as well as a few new acquaintances, I had made reference to finding a ring I wanted for myself whilst browsing presents for someone else. Simply put, I referred to the store as being of the “arty-farty” variety. Now admittedly, the more common articulation of this non-word phrase is artsy-fartsy (note the addition of an “s”), but seeing as how I was already in the realm of the intellectually nonexistent, I did not bother to dwell on my slight slip of the tongue.

My newest companion, however, was not so forgiving of my, shall we say, slipshod slang.

“I believe,” she announced with a derisive snort, “that that phrase is pronounced Artsy-FARTSY.”

The glance I gave Mai must have been pained, as her only response was a light chuckle (and frankly, she would make the Venus in Furs appear both kind and benevolent in comparison).

And I will have you know that the urge to lash out was quite strong, and my audience ready (the various other conversations about the room having been temporarily silenced by her all-too-loud and insistent pronunciation of the word “fartsy”--a word not generally heard from across the room when the rule of the evening has been deemed “polite conversation”).

However, I have not been left with a complete lack of restraint in my nearly 30-odd years (very, very hard won restraint--not at all part of my natural condition), and so after only a few deep breaths, was able to quietly beg, small placating smile in place, “Please, forgive my butchering of such a critical invective.”

Mai threw her head back and laughed, the girl seemed vaguely confused and I, for my part, was left with a splitting headache and a deeply seated sense of fatigue.

All in all, it was the perfect evening. *sighs*
Remind me to sleep through the next.

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