Woman I Did Not Want to Talk to (WIDNWTTT): *pointing at a gossip rag showing a picture of a very pregnant Nicole Richie* What show does she play on?
Me (chick without a television) Umm, none...I don't think (Because my insufferable need to keep from making any definite statements, regardless of how sure I am of my answer, chooses to rare it's ugly head at the strangest of moments).
WIDNWTTT: She's famous?
Me: *perhaps a bit too sarcastic/annoyed* Her father is.
WIDNWTTT: Her father?
Me: Lionel Richey.
WIDNWTTT: Oh. ... ... *a few moments of blissful silence as I counted to people in line before me* ... ... I... I mean, I always thought... *overcoming her need to be socially correct with a total stranger* Isn't he black?
Me: *momentarily amused* Yes.
WIDNWTTT: Oh... She has such light skin, I never would have guessed.
Me: *actually turning to look at the woman for the first time* She's white.
WIDNWTTT: Really? How did that happen?
Me: *getting more and more annoyed with her refusal to quit engaging me in conversation* The same way Angelina Jolie got two Asian babies and an African baby.
WIDNWTTT: Oh... ... ... Angelina Jolie has children?
Me: ... ... ... ... *my mind screaming as I search desperately for where the candid-camera cameras must be hidden*
The things I must endure for cheap cat food. Next time, I think I'll pretend I don't speak english...