Mai: Have you ever heard of something called Broke Back Mountain?
Me: Yeah. It’s a book and, more recently, a movie.
Me: … … … (wondering if she will continue) Why?
Mai: Oh nothing, I was just at Wal-Mart the other day and these protesting idiots were blocking the exits. Something about Wal-Mart not advertising Chronicles of Narnia as much as Broke My Back.
Me: Broke Back Mountain.
Mai: Whatever. Anyway. I thought it was strange. Hasn’t that been out for years?
Me: About a year. I think… (I do not keep up with movies and, to be perfectly honest, I wasn’t even sure which movie we were talking about by this point).
Mai: No, no, I can remember hearing about it when *I* was a child. (This is said as if she were going on 102 years old).
Me:… (finally admitting to the truth)…I’m lost….static on the line…(far be it from me to take all the blame)…what did you see?
Mai: (ignoring my request) So they’re upset that Wal-Mart wasn’t selling Chronicles of Narnia?
Me: (Wondering: When did I ever say that?) No…they sell it…I think… … … No, I really don’t know. I wasn’t there. … What was happening?
Mai: *sighs* It really doesn’t matter. They were just annoying me.
Me: Oh. Bastards.
I did eventually figure out that she was not yet aware that Chronicles of Narnia had been made into a movie. That cleared up some of the above issues. When I explained to her what I believed to be the cause for the protestors, she just laughed. Mai has never been one to take idiocy all too seriously.
All I can say is this: And I thought that *I* was out of it! Rest assured clueless people of the world; there is always at least one more person who knows less about what is happening than you do.
Well…theoretically anyway. ;)