Jamalyn (jamalyn) wrote,

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Why *did* that chicken cross the road?

Okay, I'll be honest. This probably won't interest you. In fact, you'd have to be a hardcore X-Phile to get more than one or two of these. But I don't care. I am having fun digging through the ashes of my old passion. Humor me.


Fox Mulder: No government agency has jurisdiction over the chicken. The chicken is out there, Scully, and we will find it.

Dana Scully: There is a logical, scientific explanation for the chicken crossing the road. We need more evidence.

Walter Skinner: (teeth clenched) You've got 24 hours to find out why that @!!*@!@ chicken crossed the road!!!

CSM: (blows puff of smoke) There was no chicken.

Alex Krycek: Because he can't decide WHAT side he's really on.

Byers: It was trying to escape the most heinous and evil force of the twentieth century.

Langly: It was on its way to the grassy knoll, dude.

Frohike: (snapping a photo) I don't know, but she's hot.

Bill Mulder: It heard the words, and they made sense to it.... merchandise...fryer parts....

Mrs. Mulder: I have told you that I don't remember any chicken.

Mrs. Scully: I had a dream about the chicken being taken away....

Melissa Scully: The chicken needed to get in touch with its inner self, to find the light and the good. It was in a very dark place...

Bill Scully, Sr.: One day the chicken and I will be together again...

Bill Scully, Jr.: Dana, you spend too much time worrying about chickens... for HIM? You should be home with your family!

Agent Pendrell: To get Dana a birthday present.

The Well-Manicured Man: It will cross the road in one of two ways....

Deep Throat: Mr. Mulder, they crossed the road a very long time ago. Trust no fowl.

X: The chicken is choosing a dangerous time to cross alone. The road is still out there, but it's never been more dangerous.

Marita Covarrubias: I don't know how much I can tell you about the chicken.... Oh yessssss, the chickenssssss. How much time do you have?

Jeremiah Smith: I can't tell you right now why the chicken crossed the road, but if you come with me, I'll show you....

The Mighty Morphin' Bounty Hunter: Tell me where the chicken is!

Section Chief Blevins: We trust that the chicken made the proper decision about crossing the road.

Mrs Budahas: That (gasp, shudder) is *not* my chicken

Tom Colton: At this point I'm willing to accept any theory as to why the chicken crossed the road--any sane theory. I'm sorry, Dana, but I only want qualified chickens at the intersection.

Eugene Tooms: Mmm...pate...

Darlene Morris: Why do you want to know? So that the chicken can face the same ridicule I did years ago when *I* crossed the road? You stay away from my chicken.

Commander Henderson [Fallen Angel]: Get this chicken out of my sight!

Woman at the U.S. Space Surveillance Center: The chicken seems to be hovering over a small road in eastern Wisconsin.

Eves: It just knew.

Luther Lee Boggs: I can see... the chicken; yes, the chicken, is in pain, great pain, and oh god! The Road! He's going to cross the road!!

John Barnett: (breath) Man... I'm *everywhere* that chicken is...

Doug Spinney: The chicken crossed the road because its natural habitat was being methodically destroyed by clearcuts and illegal logging... within ten years, we won't have any forests *or* chickens left!

Duane Barry: I don't know... it just had to go...Please, I'm askin' ya not to stop it from crossing the road... it just has to go!!!!!!!

Donnie Pfaster: Were its feathers normal, or dry?

Dr. Blockhead: It's a mystery. And some mysteries were never meant to be solved.

CC's character [Anasazi]: The chicken crossed the road? Wasn't the chicken originally assigned to remain at the the *side* of the road?

Albert Hosteen: There is an ancient Indian saying that a chicken lives only as long as the last person that remembers it crossing the road.

The Stupendous Yappi: The chicken feels it is not in control of its own destiny. It has feathers - somewhere on its body. It recently laid an egg - or not. raises eyebrow> Here - it tries to force itself onto the road! But...it cannot cross the road...it is incompetent.

Dr. Bambi: To eat, sleep, defecate, procreate. Who cares about the road... what bugs did the chicken eat for lunch?

Robert Modell: The other side of the road looks very interesting. The sky looks so blue on that side. Cerulean blue. I bet you want to go to the other side of the road. The chicken's right over there, waiting. Go on, cross the road...

Jose Chung: I interviewed the chicken several times, over the course of three weeks, and each time I interviewed him, I got a different answer! Truth is as subjective as reality! By the way, do you know he he perfers the term 'crosser' or 'transportee'?

The Men in Black: No object is more mistaken for a chicken than the planet Venus. You never saw a chicken.

Det. Manners: Does anyone give a bleep why the bleepin' chicken crossed the road? Who the bleep cares? By the way, someone called to say they found a real live bleepin' chicken body.

Lt. Jack Schaeffer: The chicken did NOT cross the road...the chicken did NOT cross the road...

Blaine Faulkner: It wasn't a chicken. It was a MIB sent in by the *proper authorities* disguised as a chicken, and it wasn't pulling it off. Like, it was yellow, but a little *too* yellow, you know?

Melissa Redell: Once, long ago, the chicken and I stood in a field. This is the road where I watched the chicken cross.

Member of Congress [Terma]: Answer the question, Miss Road: Where is the chicken, and why is it not here?

Eddie Van Blundht: Let's just say hypothetically that the chicken did cross the road. Now if that's what the road wanted and nobody got hurt, then hypothetically where's the crime?

Chuck Forsch: Oooh! That was me, I did it! I admit it, I did it! I made the chicken cross the road! I'm just a human being after all!

Michael Kritschgau: The chicken was an elaborate hoax all along, planted so that you would believe the lie that chickens existed.

Chris Carter: You'll have to wait until the movie comes out next summer to find out.

Howard Gordon: Because it was too tired to work anymore.

Morgan & Wong: Well, it had left this road to pursue another path, but it came to a dead end, so it returned home to the old road. Now that it was back on this road, though, it didn't seem the same, so eventually it saw a road that it really wanted to be on, and vowed to never again return to the original road.

Darin Morgan: Because he saw the comic potential of introducing such a novel concept.

John Shiban: Because it was being chased by El Chupacabra.

Vince Gilligan: Crossing the road was true to the chicken's nature. It was familiar, something that he had done before.

Fanfic writer: Because Chris Carter wasn't letting it go anywhere, and it needed someone to let it cross.

X-Phile: Maybe the chicken is so fed up waiting for the %@#&*@ premeire that it decided to go play in traffic.

Non X-Phile: Who cares? It's just a stupid chicken! It's fictional! Why the heck are you worrying about a chicken, anyway? I just don't see what you see in this whole thing!

Shipper: The chicken and the road had undeniable chemistry and were fated to cross.

NoRoMo: I can't understand why you people can't be satisfied with the chicken walking by the side of the road. Why does the chicken have to cross the road? Why are you focusing on that? It would ruin the chicken!

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