Jamalyn (jamalyn) wrote,

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The neologisms have sprouted.

I am a mean, mean person.

I try to be sympathetic to my friends, I do. But I do not always succeed. The first thing Nguyen managed to say to me this morning was, “I had the most terrible dream last night.”

“How so?” I asked. To my benefit, I was rather busy.

“We were both in it and were walking through this tall grass. I think we were coming here, but I can’t be sure,” she starts.

“Uh-huh, uh-huh.”

“So anyway, all these wild dogs, or maybe wolves, start popping up and are following us as we walk.”

“Uh-huh, uh-huh.”

“And I told you that they were there, but you just said that they wouldn’t bother us.” By now she’s nearly to tears and I’m desperately fighting the need to shake her (shaking friends not being considered a sympathetic action). “But they were biting me,” she wails, “They were biting me and biting me and biting me and you just keep telling me that they weren’t. You wouldn’t listen!!”

Now most people would take this as a sign that they should pay more attention to their friends. I, however, did not.

“Oh, don’t say that!” I begged, “You are giving me goose bumps! I had a dream about dogs too.”

“Really?” She asks, wiping at her eyes, “What about?”

“Well, in this dream, I was a dog. You know, kind of a little yappy dog?”

She nods her head yes and I continue, “So I’m this little yappy dog and I’ve got to cross this street. I can see my house and all I want to do is get there so I can have my dinner and go to bed. So I jog up to the street, and looking both ways, make sure that there no cars coming.” I pause.

“And?” she asks after another moment.

“And, well there aren’t, so I go to cross. And just as I am about to make it across—


I get hit by a car.”

“A car?”

“Well, yes…they tend to drive on streets…” I inform.

“But you looked both ways!” I don’t know what’s more frightening, that she believes me or that she’s trying to force my dreams into some semblance of logic.

“I must not of seen it,” I do my best to explain, “So anyway, the next thing I remember is waking up this morning and my neck was really sore.”

“You slept on it wrong?”

“Maybe…but when I reached back there…” I moved the hair away from the back of my neck, motioning for her to come take a look, “There’s a really nasty bump.” Nguyen leans forward to try and see what I’m talking about.

“GERWRRR!!!” I growl, snapping at her hovering hands.

She, naturally, jumps back with a rather loud scream. Loud enough to wake up the guy snoozing in the corner, anyway.

I don’t think she’s talking to me at the moment, but she did let me alone so I could finish the pk workup. I am a mean, mean person.

Overheard: “He has a high maximal resting anal pressure.”

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