Jamalyn (jamalyn) wrote,

  • Mood:
  • Music:

Trust and Misgivings

I met an interesting woman today. Interesting because while I believed her to honestly be very nice I also found myself fearing the idea of willingly giving her any sort of power.

That’s a first for me. Sure, I’ve met people I believe to be nice or people I didn’t particularly trust before, but this is the first time I’ve met anyone who managed to embody both at the same time. I was at a lost as to which instinct to trust.


Things have not been going particularly well with C----, not that this is too terribly shocking. I do not handle other people inserting themselves into my life (either with or without my permission) especially well.

I hate it.

I hate being told what to do. I hate pretending I don’t mind things when I most certainly do. I hate rearranging my schedule and my life to better suit someone else. I hate agreeing with something just because I haven’t got the energy to fight for what I want.

I hate being treated like that.

In the end, it’s my own selfishness that gets in the way. I make for a very poorly turned-out woman, unwilling to give when I should be more than agreeable. I have my life and I’m not too keen on changing it for anyone.


I have always hoped that it is enough to know that I am in the wrong; that I can use that knowledge to do what it is that I should do, to behave as I should behave.

But it never seems to work out that way.

  • Nine months...

    So it's been about 9 months since I last posted anything. Things have been... well, you've been alive too, so you know what they've been. Thirteen…

  • It's already May!?!?

    Okay, so a lot has been going on. More than I have the energy to really get into at the moment (or maybe even ever) so I'm not going to bother even…

  • Christmas!

    Apparently I never got around to posting this year's Christmas ornaments. I blame this deadly funk I've had. I almost never get sick but when I do,…

  • Post a new comment


    default userpic

    Your reply will be screened

    When you submit the form an invisible reCAPTCHA check will be performed.
    You must follow the Privacy Policy and Google Terms of use.