Dear Friends and Family,
Allow me to start this year’s Christmas letter with an apology. Red and Fry were supposed to pose in their Santa and elf outfits for this year’s Christmas card, only I seem to have lost the charger for my camera. Faced early in this season with the realization that I would have to either have to buy a new camera or actually clean out the back room’s closet and locate the cable, I decided to do neither. And so—no pictures.
I hear your hearts breaking, but I promise, if you keep your eyes on Facebook, you will at one point get to see Kikumaru in her drover coat and cowboy hat and George dressed as a hula girl.
In other news, George Eliot has recently started a series of self-publications titled “Soseki was Never a Cat” delving into whether or not the famous Japanese writer stole his classic Novel in Three Parts from none other than his own tri-colored feline and helping the descendents of Soseki’s Cat (only ever addressed as Cat, something George despises) sue the family of Soseki for the rights and royalties from “I Am a Cat”. Cross your fingers that the Japanese courts will look favorably on their case. There is some-what of a history of prejudice against four-legged defendants which we are all praying they overcome.
Just a little over a month ago, Kikumaru decided to skip flying to Stockholm, Sweden and accept her Nobel Prize in Energy Conservation via telephone. We are all very proud that her four years of sleeping more than 22 hours a day, often without emitting so much as the heat energy of a single stretch or yawn has finally been recognized by the Nobel committee. This far surpasses her original goal of making it on the TV series Ripley’s Believe it or Not!
Fry-guy and Red have had a generally uneventful year. That is, if one discounts this past month. Fry started December with an emergency trip to the vet after having consumed most of what I believed to be a glass Christmas ornament. Thankfully, it was later determined that he had only tried to eat the ornament, cut his lip on the edge and then proceeded to bleed profusely on my favorite pillow. Ah, children… Red has developed the penchant for randomly biting people on the calf. This makes having guests over especially fun, as you never know when someone will jump from the dinner table with a, “Holy Shit! I think your cat just bit me!” The fact that he is so small and sneaky only adds to the inevitable surprise. Red also decided he wanted an emergency trip to the vet this month, faking a flee medicine poisoning that not only got him drenched in the kitchen sink, but then rushed to the veterinary hospital (where I currently under review for munchausen-by-proxy) where a through exam determined he had not swallowed, but rather, only licked.
I suppose I shall have to stop reading him YAOI.
Yours with love,
Jamalyn, Kikumaru, George Eliot, Fry-guy and Red