You are cordially invited to participate in a special offer to receive The Economist at 61% savings-- a rather nice reduction equivalent to receiving 15 issues free.
Hmm, rather! *laughs* It only got worse:
Illuminated by our signature candor and unique commentary. Serious, yes. Dry, never. Refreshingly un-dumbed down, you might say.
Yes. I might say. However I might also say that your first sentence isn't a sentence at all! Refreshingly dumb for such an un-dumbed down publication. *smiles*
No second hand news. No bylines or superstars.
Finally! A weekly that is *not* centered around Paris Hilton! Where have you been all my life, The Economist?
But for all the fun I poke at the guppy masquerading as sushi that they have speared on the end of their hook, I'll probably bite. I do love reading these types of magazines. Maybe that is why I find their too-thinly veiled attempts to stoke my ego so damned amusing.
After all, you had me 61 % savings...
P.S. So that you may begin enjoying you issues of The Economist as quickly as possible, we have accelerated our start time. You will have you first copy within two weeks of receipt of order.
Thank You, and Good Night!