Jamalyn (jamalyn) wrote,
Jamalyn
jamalyn

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Dude! Where's My Garlic Salt!?

Er, yeah. My deepest apologies for the title… ;)




Anyway, today I lost my garlic salt.




No, stop racking your brain needlessly. That is not a euphemism for anything (of which I am aware).

I am referring to your typical run-of-the-mill garlic salt.


And this is odd (or even important), you ask.

Well, I explain, you would really have to understand just what I keep in my kitchen.


Here, I will list it for you:
-2 boxes of black tea
-1 box of green tea
-2 boxes of prepackaged meal bars
-Salt
-Pepper
-1 box of instant grits (older than most European countries)
-Garlic Salt
-Lemon Pepper
-White vinegar (no, I do not know when or why)
-Diet Coke (sam’s choice)
-Water (sam’s choice)
-Protein shakes
-7 boxes of spaghetti (Lean Cuisine frozen dinners)
-Parmesan cheese -=and=-
-1 bottle of Italian salad dressing (older than the afore mentioned grits)



Period. That is all. So, needless to say, when something is not where I normally keep it, I notice (or rather, I should).

For dinner today, I micro-waved a box of spaghetti, and reaching for my garlic salt, realized it was not where it normally resided.


I was momentarily frozen in utter disbelief, but soon began moving about the other contents of the “spice” cabinet in fruitless search. After all, what was the likelihood that an 8 inch tall bottle of garlic salt could hide behind one or both 2 inch tall salt and pepper shakers? Not good, but then I am an optimist.


It was not there.

And I was dumbfounded.


Now in Houston, where I had my dearest AnhMai to continually complicate what would normally be an otherwise simple life, things like a bottle of garlic salt disappearing would not be too terribly shocking. I would no doubt chalk it up to her having decided that I was ingesting entirely too much salt (something that I make somewhat of a habit of doing, regardless of current medical opinion) and having thrown the offensive mineral in the trash.

But here there is no AnhMai (except on holiday weekends) and so, something even more devious (Oh Dear God!) must be at work.


I could not imagine someone breaking into my home, foregoing the $40 television and the $35 DVD player in favor of a $2.39 bottle of mostly used garlic salt (hey, I never suggested that AnhMai was incorrect).


Therefore, I must have placed it somewhere here-to-now un-scoured.


That excluded the kitchen.


So, where to go next?


Anyway, to make what could be a very long story short, garlic salt is (apparently) now kept in the closet off the library for reasons an evening of trying to remember have yet to divulge. *sighs*


My mind may be gone, but my (now somewhat cooler) spaghetti is now salted.


I suppose that I shall just have to be thankful for smallfavors (and the such). :)
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